Bat Patrol

The saga continues. Yesterday I called City Animal Control. The nice lady listened to my tale of woe, then said sincerely, "That's terrible. I hope you can figure out how to get rid of them." I said, "Did I get the wrong number? Isn't this animal control?" She said, "Yes, we're animal control; we just don't do bats. Try the conservation office. "

I called the conservation office. The nice lady there was very helpful. She said that we could hire someone to take care of it, but it would be VERY expensive. We could do the same things they would do. She said to go out at dusk and watch to see where they come out when they go out for their night job. She said it would most likely be up high, around the eaves or chimney. I wandered around looking up until my neck was killing me and I was being eaten alive by mosquitoes (those dang bats aren't earning their keep!) Didn't see anything.

Another suggestion was to make their roosting place unpleasant by turning on bright lights, playing loud music, hanging things that would flutter and turning on a fan. I did all that in the attic and in the basement, then went to bed.

When I got up this morning, I gingerly crept into the basement (amidst the head-banging music) to see if it had worked. I saw 4 bats (photo above) by the door. The one in the foreground is a dead one that's been there a few days.

We think we have figured out where they're getting in, though. Probably the chimney that goes through the attic all the way to the basement. So tonight we'll try watching the chimney and see if they fly out. I'm also going to make a "bat extrusion device" out of PVC pipe. The conservation agent told me how to do that.

The Moment of Recognition: Surprise!

We are taking a time-out from bats to show you the moment of recognition on Saturday, May 29, at a flea market in Kimberling City. She was trying out a Shiatsu massager on my neck.

Kelly took this photo at the moment that her mother recognized her children and their families in the store. We were all sneaks and liars leading up to this moment. Shame on us!

Axe murderers & blood suckers, part II

See previous post to get the background. It is now 10:00 p.m. and I have been down to the basement to see the bat that Dale found before he left town. Before I even got down the stairs, I found 2 more bats in addition to the one I trapped under a wastebasket earlier this evening. That means there are at least 4 down there now, 5 yesterday, a total of 9 we've seen in 2 days. How many more can there be?! I think I'll take a sleep-aid tonite! I'll definitely call an exterminator tomorrow.

Axe Murderers & Blood-Suckers

We've had a lot of excitement at our house this week. It all started Saturday night when we were watching a movie in the living room. We both heard a noise that sounded like it came from the entry hall or the dining room. I looked, but didn't see anything amiss.

At about 2:00 a.m. I awoke to discover that something/someone was in the room with us. I lay there awake listening and trying to see in the dark. I heard the noise of someone bumping my bedside table. I was terrified. I reached over to see if Dale was beside me--he was. Then I heard someone bumping Dale's bedside table. I was convinced that someone was in the room and was checking both sides of the bed to see if we were asleep. I was so scared I was shaking & sweating, my heart was pounding. I was afraid to move. I weighed all my options. To get up and make a run for it. To wake Dale. To pretend I was asleep. I figured whatever I did, I would be hacked to death by a blood-thirsty axe murderer. I finally decided that I'd rather die with Dale than be separated. Then I wondered how long it would take to find our bodies.

Finally, after about an hour of that, I heard Dale get up to go to the bathroom. Then someone came back into the room and I said, "That had better be you, Dale." He said it was, so I told him what I'd heard. He asked if I wanted him to look around. I said yes. So we turned on all the lights and looked everywhere. Nothing was disturbed. No one was hiding anywhere. He told me I'd had a bad dream or was hallucinating. I insisted that I'd heard something, and I reminded him that we'd both heard something the night before. He went back to sleep but I was too shaken to sleep so I got up and read.

Sunday evening I was sitting in the living room talking on the phone to Kelly while Dale was upstairs talking to her. Suddenly what looked like a bird took a dive at my head and flew into the kitchen. I yelled, Dale came and looked, but it had already moved on. We looked all over the house and didn't find anything.

Monday morning we got up to find a bat in the bathtub. Mystery solved. (See photo below) We took a shoe box and my thin plastic chopping mat. Dale clamped down the box over him, then slid the mat under to trap him. We took him outside and let him go. He was shrieking like a--what else--bat from hell!

I had taken Monday off work to go blueberry picking and do odd jobs around the house. When we came back from picking blueberries, I was posting a picture of the bat to my facebook page when Dale yelled for me to come help him catch Bat #2 (photo below) that he'd found in the basement. After we let him go, I went back upstairs to update the facebook page to 2 bats. Before I could finish, he called me to help with Bat#3. I went back upstairs to update the posting, then had to run help with Bat#4. At that point, we decided to go to Lowe's and purchase a bat house.

Today, Tuesday, Dale left for St. Louis to spend a few days with Kelly & fam and to visit his mom, who lives in an assisted living place there. Before he left on his trip, he found Bat#5 dead in the basement. I don't know what's going on, but we definitely have a serious infestation. It will be impossible to find where they're getting in, as we have a 100 year old house, 4 levels, 55 windows.

I'm not too thrilled about spending my nights alone in a bat infested house. But that's better than axe-murderers.

Leslie's birthday bash

Ode on Turning 60
By Leslie Simpson

In haste I packed to take a trip,
Though where I'd go, I knew but zip.
For Dale made plans for my big day,
A sneaky, secret getaway.

He said he'd like to eat ice cream.
"There's Andy's"--no, not in his scheme.
Up hill, down dale, to find the place,
Determination on his face.

On a hill was Shirley's sign,
"Burgers, ice cream"--eats bovine.
The joint was closed. Oh, me, oh, my.
My darling husband told a lie.

He said he had to call a man
To get the key--that was his plan.
A junk store stood across the way.
I passed some time, that day in May.

Rabbit dishes, Tonka trucks,
Neck massager, just 10 bucks.
Then I glanced up and saw a gal
Who looked like Hannah--wrong locale.

But wait, that guy looks just like Steve.
This can't be real--my eyes deceive!
I felt like I might lose control,
When out come Kelly, Mike, Dom, Noel.

They whisked me to a lake-view house,
Deceitful daughters, lying spouse.
They brought me gifts; they took me out
To Devil's Pool, where I ate trout.

With Dale's slide show to eulogize,
My whole life flashed before my eyes.
They made me proud of who I am,
A member of this awesome fam.